Signs of the (Disney) times

My husband's grandparents came for a visit last week. We took Nana and Pop-Pop to the Animal Kingdom at Walt Disney World for a few hours. The kids love it there, there is a lot to see, and we get in for free. What's not to love?


While we were waiting in line for something (I have no idea what, I was keeping up with two elderly people and three children), I noticed a sign.

Poaching Alert - Please report any evidence of poaching to the nearest ranger post. Okie dokie, no problemo. Surely in this place full of wild animals, there will be poaching to report. It fits with the theme, right? But wait... where is the ranger post? There are signs for every entrance, exit, bathroom and stroller parking area in the park, but I have yet to see a sign for a ranger post. What to do, what to do? Perhaps the next sign will help us.

Indeed. Now I know what to do do in the event of a poacher sighting. I'll call TIME magazine, and they can write an article, tucking it neatly between "Science without Humanity" and "Worship without Sacrifice."

This sign still makes me chuckle a little, because I read it "Please ensure you have obtained your correct language." I don't know why that's so funny to me. It struck me as ironic (read the wrong way), because I was standing in the middle of a group of varied ethnicity, people from all over the world who were all in a huddled mass waiting to board a train to world peace via the Walt Disney World Express. I pictured my fellow passengers exiting the train, searching for their language in a huge pile of them and unable to find the correct dialect. I looked at a tiny Asian woman and pictured her singing "La Cucaracha" and dissolved into hysterics.

I think the heat was starting to get to me at this point.

Next up is a classic Disney sign, one that all past and present Disney-goers will recognize.

Always good for a laugh. Always.

Unrelated to the signage, I witnessed something else a little disturbing that day. This elephant was doing a little dance on the safari ride. Look closely. That's not his trunk.

The day was winding to an end, and I was hot and tired. We were in the petting zoo, and I was taking some cute pictures of the kids defiling their cleanliness with goat germs. My husband (who is not the Disney lover that I am and tends to make all of our lives miserable on Disney days) was having so much fun, I had to take his picture.

Time to go. The kids reek of goat, the grandparents are wiped out, and it's about to rain. Thank you, Disney, for making it easy to find the way out.