My CVS adventure

I recently started shopping at CVS. When I say "shopping," I mean taking advantage of their sales to get things for practically nothing. It's exhilarating, better than the Herbal Essences that I got for less than a buck last week. Granted, I wouldn't stand in the middle of CVS moaning and yelling out, "Oh, yes. Yes! YES!", but it's still a good feeling.

I had some coupons that I really wanted to use the other day, so I ran to the store closest to my house. It was raining, but I really wanted to use these coupons, so I left the kids in the car and ran inside. Before you panic and call CPS, I left all three kids in the car. I'm not in a habit of leaving my two and three year old alone in the parking lot, although there are days I'd like to put them in a box with a "Free to good home" sign. The store was out of the shampoo I wanted to buy, so I came out and got back in the car.

I pondered going to a different CVS. It was pouring rain, nearly dinner time, and the kids had been in the car about 5 minutes too long. I looked at the clock, looked at my gas gauge, looked at the kids and decided to head the two miles to the other store. On the short drive from one store to the other, I passed five gas stations. This information will be important later in the story.

I got my shampoo, and I got it for free. The cashier didn't want to let me use my coupons, so I spent a little extra time in the store waiting for her to get approval. When I finally came back out to the car, I saw Bryan sitting in the driver's seat reading the car manual. Uh-oh.

"Mom, we have a problem."

Remember when I said I passed those five gas stations? This is where that piece of information is important. Go ahead and laugh. You wouldn't have stopped for gas in that kind of downpour, either. Okay, okay, so I know I stopped for shampoo, but I had to prioritize. Free shampoo in the rain is definitely better than $4 a gallon gas in the rain. Well, until you run out of gas.

My husband was not due home yet, so I called his cell phone. I called it about ten times, hoping he'd hear it and answer, so he could bring me some gas. I forgot that he was riding his motorcycle, in the rain, and probably wouldn't be up to chatting on the phone. When I realized that my cell phone battery would probably die like the car had, I decided to call one more time and leave a message, telling him where I was and begging for help. He answered.

"HELLO?" He was screaming because he was at a stoplight, wearing his helmet, in the rain. Oops.

"Hey, can you stop at CVS on your way home? I need help."

"WHAT? CVS?"

"Yes, CVS." I told him which CVS. I gave him directions, including landmarks.

"OKAY. CVS. GOT IT." (Still yelling.)

I had a gas can in the back of my van. There was a gas station about a half a mile up the road, and I suppose I could have hiked it over there and gotten myself some gas, but it was raining. I melt, so that was out. I thought, "No problem, we'll just wait for my honey to come to the rescue."

Foolishness is not an admirable trait. I was now trapped inside a non-moving vehicle with a 14 year old, a three year old, and a two year old. It was now past dinner time, and it was hotter than Hades inside that car. The windows were foggy and we were all starting to sweat. I cracked the windows a little.

"I'm getting weeetttttttttt." Boo. Hoo. I rolled up the windows.

"I'm hooottttttt." No problem. I cracked the windows again.

"I'm getting wetttt againnnnnn." It's a vicious cycle. The only way to stop it is with distraction.

I tried to sing songs with them. We played Let's Watch For Daddy. I briefly considered taking them inside the CVS, but decided that if I did, we would never be welcome back at that store. I had already made the cashier mad by giving her coupons, there was no good reason to torture her with children as well.

"I'm hungry." This came from my older child, who obviously lacks the common sense to refrain from suggesting hunger in front of his younger sisters. That started a chorus of whining. I gave Bryan three bucks and sent him in the store to find something for the kids to snack on. He came back with a giant bag of chocolate chip cookies and two of my dollars. Good job, kid. Good job.

I doled out a couple of small cookies per child and sweetly suggested they stuff them (in their mouths). They wanted more. I tried explaining that after Daddy brought gas, we were going home to have dinner. They still wanted more.

"Look, there he is!" My knight in shining armor, flying down the road on his motorcycle. Approaching the parking lot. Going past the parking lot. Driving out of sight. Crap.

Molly was poking Abby in the face with her shoe, Abby was trying to bite her in return, Bryan was yelling at them both... and I was rethinking walking in the rain to the gas station. Maybe on the way I'd get picked up by a trucker with a chainsaw or something.

"We want more cookies!"

"Fine. Eat them all." They took me at my word. Super! Three kids on a sugar high in a confined space with no air conditioning! It's every mother's dream.

Three minutes later, my husband called. "Honey, where are you?"

"I'm still at CVS, still sitting in the van, still waiting for gas. Where are you?"

"I'm at CVS, too. I don't see you."

"Yes, sweetie, I know. I saw you drive right by us. You're at the wrong CVS."

"Oh. Ummmm... am I in trouble?"


I must be a bad, bad wife. My poor husband was drenched to the bone, driving around trying to find me because I was dumb enough to pass FIVE gas stations without stopping for gas, and he's worried about being in trouble? Hell, I was worried he'd give me a lecture about not letting the tank go lower than an eighth before filling up. He turned around and came back, and rescued us with a can of liquid gold (aka gasoline). My hero.

The next day, the kids wanted to go to CVS again. I decided to pass on the shopping expedition. It was hours from a mealtime, sunny outside, and my van had gas in it. I mean, where's the challenge in that?