Funny Sign Sunday

I could use one of those masks.

Let me share a little TMI

TMI = Too Much Information. This phrase applies to this blog post.

My entire family got the stomach crud this weekend. On the news this morning, they called it "gastroenteritis." In my house, we called it "dying." Four to five days of fluids spewing from every direction deserves to be called something a little more dramatic than gastroenteritis.

After several hours of throwing up, little Abby was about worn out. I followed her for the hundredth time into the bathroom after watching her turn pale, gag, and make a run for the toilet. When I walked in, she was standing over the toilet heaving. She wiped her mouth on her arm (ewwww), then turned to look at me.

"Mom, I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but..... well, I barfed out my butt."

Dying may not even be a dramatic enough description.

Funny Sign Tuesday, because Sunday's so far away

Call me crazy, but I'd say anyone who tries to molest an alligator is going to be facing a bigger problem than the $500 fine.

This is not what it looks like.

This really isn't what it looks like. Well, I guess that's only true if this looks like anything other than a pig's tongue to you. Icky, right? We went to a BBQ at a freind's house a couple of weeks ago, and they roasted an entire pig. When it was done, they hacked it up into a lot of pieces, some of which looked edible, and some of which did not. I would classify a pig's tongue somewhere in the middle. It's one of those things that you could eat, but why in the name of all things holy would you?


We've eaten with these friends before. They're amused by the odd things my girls will eat. They've watched both of my little angels suck down raw oysters like candy and gnaw on hunks of meat of unknown origin. In spite of that, I really don't think they expected a positive reaction when they offered them the pig's tongue.



The girls got excited about eating a tongue. They bounced around and made up a song.

We're gonna eat the tongue
We're gonna eat the tongue
We're gonna eat the tonnnnngueeee

Songwriters, they are not. I thought they'd both wimp out when they actually had the nasty little piece of meat in their hands. Abby did.



Molly did not wimp out. She tore into that thing like a hyena on a dead zebra. Honestly, I'd rather watch a hyena rip the guts out of a zebra than watch my little girl with a pig tongue in her mouth. I gagged a little that day.

She took a few bites off the cut end, then held it between her teeth and ran around the yard sticking it out at people, laughing in hysterics at the horrified gasps from all the ladies in attendance. I probably should have made her stop, but I was too busy laughing. She's a plucky little thing. Thank goodness nobody offered her the brain.