Agent J for Prez

I was joking the other day with a friend about writing his name in on my ballot in November, and it made me think about who would be a good write-in for the presidential vote. I know that not all states even allow write-in votes, but let's pretend for a minute that we have the freedom to elect whoever we please.

I'm not a politcally savvy person. I don't keep up with who supports what and platforms and... well, I don't even know the correct terminology, so I won't pretend that I do. My method for voting comes down to frantic research within the last few days before an election. It might not be the best way, but it's my way. Don't tell my husband or kids, though - they think I know everything. My lack of expertise in this area led me to some interesting conclusions about who would make good candidates.

I'd like to take this opportunity to present to you my choice for write in candidate for the 2008 presidential election.

Agent J. We've never had a president this cool. My reasons for choosing J are many.

1. He runs fast. That might not seem like a good reason to some, but the way I see it, if he ever travels to the Middle East and catches a glimpse of Osama Bin Laden, he could damn sure catch him.

2. He has fantastic weapons. The country could save zillions of dollars a year on Secret Service, because he can just whip out his big guns and take care of any potential threat all by himself.

3. Any guy who can make a plain black suit and sunglasses look so darn good deserves some kind of special recognition. Clearly, our standards for the role of president are not all that high right now, so this reason alone might just be enough to secure millions of votes.

4. He has a kick-ass running mate. I mean, really, who doesn't love a talking dog?

5.He has a neuralyzer. That's the flashy thing with the red light that erases memory. If I had a flashy thing, I'd be the best at everything, because anytime I screwed up I could erase memories and call do-over. It's the ultimate power.

6. He's got the whooooole world, in his hands......

7. Agent J clearly has a handle on problems with illegal immigration.

You may not agree with my choice for the leader of our people. It wouldn't be the first time that someone disagreed with me, and it surely won't be the last. For those who aren't quite yet ready to write in Agent J, let me make one more point that will surely convince you. This one is a demonstration. I need you to look right here at this red light......